Another day in our home is another day dealing with a sullen Betty. After the bad news that we received yesterday we are all feeling a little down, but one of us takes it to an extreme. One of the Betties thinks that I never worry about anything and that I let her do all of the worrying (there is a lot of that in this house these days between financial struggles, a pet battling lymphoma, and my own mother still struggling to recover more fully from her debilitating stroke). She could not be more wrong, but because of past events in my life, or maybe it is my basic personality, I have developed a means of sort of mentally compartmentalizing everything so that I can deal with things as needed and not be hit with all of it at once. She, on the other hand, makes Eeyore look like the cheerleader of the Winnie the Pooh characters. I want so badly to escape the morose and low-hanging fog over our house right now, but that would only make her worse which would make this house even more unbearable. Even conversation in our home has essentially come to a halt with the exception of meal decisions, things stated out of necessity, or to say goodbye or goodnight. I am not a naturally uplifting and cheerful person, so being forced to take on the role drives me a little batty. Especially when I am failing at it so miserably. I hope that we get some good news from somewhere soon because the depression and grief is palpable.
As I am Bitter Betty number one I will make this about me, until the other two decide to contribute to something more than the name. I am a graduate of UNLV, but am native to California, and while my personality prefers California, my bank account (though quite empty at the moment) prefers Las Vegas. I am quite contrary in my personality, in that I am both quite opinionated, and pretty much an introvert. A bit of an enigma I suppose. I am a huge animal lover with dreams of starting my own animal sanctuary. I love crafting, arts, and music of all sorts, and have many interests if I could just get myself to stay out of pain long enough, or focus on one particular thing long enough, to perfect it. I have been in multiple car accidents (none of which were my fault thank you very much as I was usually the passenger), have been told that I likely have fibromyalgia (but for some reason I can't get my doctors to further explore the issue), suffer from chronic migraines, as well as every other kind of headache that exists, and a laundry list of problems associated with these issues and because of this I can't attack my various interests as often, or as voraciously as I would like, and have been out of work for several years. I'd like to get my own business started so that I could bring in an income while having the freedom that I need in performing a job that allows me to stop and start as needed in order to avoid as much pain as possible.